The Daily Fix

Since there has been little to no significant news of interest as of late, I must resort to mocking the paltry offerings that come our way via making shit up:

BUSH ELECTED SUPREME LEADER OF EVERYWHERE DUE TO INSTANT RUNOFF VOTING

A Picture Of Grand Chancellor Bush

In recent news, George W. Bush, previously the President of the United States of America, has been elected supreme Chancellor of the world in a heated election. Authorities have commented that this is odd, because Mr. Bush was not on the ballot until the first four selections were involved in unfortunate accidents. A source identified as "Certainly not the Illuminati" has claimed responsible for the debacle.

Bet you can't tell me what bird that is.

Ten bonus points if you can tell me what sound it makes.

Fifty bonus points if you can tell me what it tastes like.

That was from a Christian Missionary site, to the best of my knowledge. Clark is getting fiesty.

I took a chicken bus back from Jutiapa today, as usual. Unusually, I had a seat to myself - but not for long. As we stopped at the army barracks, a small girl of ten sat beside me, or should I say, on top of me. Thinking that a third person would join us, Yolanda moved over right next to me. The third person never came, but in her innocence, she stayed put.

I couldn't help but be touched by this girl. After all, her small body touched my whole left side as she fit perfectly into the space behind my arm. But she touched my heart as well. I can't say why. She was not a beautiful child, and in fact, had warts all over the back of her hands. But she was simply embodied.

Hello, there. It's been a while, hasn't it. Maybe it's because Grandpa Stanislaw took the shotgun to your birthday party and killed the dog, and it's taken a while to get a new one. Or maybe it's the fact that all the images on this site are stolen from Google Images. For whatever reason, you haven't been sighted for a while. It's time to welcome you, the reader, back to the blog, into the sacred fold of sheep that can read and use the internet. Congratulations, you truly are remarkable. Also, if it's your birthday, all I have to say is don't invite that horrid old bastard next time. He really does hate the dogs.