The Long, Cold, Hard, Uncomfortable, Alligator-Ridden Road Towards Obsolescence, Part Three! Back From The Dead!!!!
I’d like to think that the fourth wall is broken every time a piece of art is created. After all, all art is created with the intent of viewing, and so the art communicates (intently) with the viewer, on a visual, aural, or perhaps literal level. Hitherto, this work shall be referred to as “John Moses Tarkington.” Say hello to John Moses Tarkington, will you? Did you know that John Moses Tarkington’s Flesch-Kinkaid reading level is at eleventh grade? A high-school junior probably wouldn’t agree with this; they are so full of vitality and youth (and therefore mistaken thoughts that they are here for a reason) that they couldn’t ever ever ever ever ever love John Moses Tarkington. Of course, he’s not meant to be loved- OH GOD A PRONOUN.
This particularly infantile practice of quickly ending a sentence by segueing into another, totally irrelevant one seems to be a large, hairy dinosaur. Dinosaurs existed mainly for the edification of Rhodes scholars, like Kris Kristofferson, certified member of the board of Members, Canada ’s largest organization of male organ donors. They’ll “donate” their organs to you any time! It’s just that they’ll put them back in their trousers when their done (as if you didn’t get the high-laaariously amusing joke already, I have hidden inside this infant paragraph the gift of obvious secondary lines that add no value to my already invaluable humor).
