Midgets and The Rise of Hitler
Many people believe these two things are not correlated. They are all wrong, with the notable exception of dr. H. Nelson Jackson, esq. who in addition to having a serious preexisting mental condition was lied to by both aforementioned groups (midgets and Hitler) in rapid succession in 1943.
BUT:
There is indeed a definite connection that can and should be made between the two. Midgets, as they have for aeons, remain one of the most uniquely fascinating minorities that live amongst the human race. Now: if we can assume, as many people can, that since they are small and have several amusing traits, they are not human, and since they attract such large swaths of international consciousness, they are most surely adept in the use of black magic. Bear with me now. If midgets are indeed international pariahs, then Hitler should have aligned himself against them. However, nobody has heard of Hitler ever speaking out against midgets at any of his rallies, and if I Google "Jewish midgets," and no actual advocacy groups turn up, what does that mean? It must mean that since Hitler did not discriminate against midgets and I cannot find any records of Jewish midgets besides crude "_____ walks into a bar" jokes, that Hitler obviously was supported by an elite junta of midget geniuses (they all are brooding types), who suitably convinced the German public to go to war against very large odds. Everybody knows that Hitler was short himself, around 5'7".
Ah, you might say. And yet, Hitler went to war agains the USSR, and thus lost. An evil midget genius would never do something so stupid as that. But there is an explanation for that, too. And the explanation is thus: Stalin, in the entirety of his regime, murdered over one hundred thousand midgets. But that was after the war, you exclaim! There is an obvious answer: if these midgets were powerful enough to use their dark midget arts to enchant an entire nation (Germany), who is to think that they could not foretell the future? These midgets are obviously dark sorcerers, of the highest order, and if you see a midget, you must do one of two things: please it, or destroy it. Remember. They hold the true power. And in that there can be no denying.
BUT:
There is indeed a definite connection that can and should be made between the two. Midgets, as they have for aeons, remain one of the most uniquely fascinating minorities that live amongst the human race. Now: if we can assume, as many people can, that since they are small and have several amusing traits, they are not human, and since they attract such large swaths of international consciousness, they are most surely adept in the use of black magic. Bear with me now. If midgets are indeed international pariahs, then Hitler should have aligned himself against them. However, nobody has heard of Hitler ever speaking out against midgets at any of his rallies, and if I Google "Jewish midgets," and no actual advocacy groups turn up, what does that mean? It must mean that since Hitler did not discriminate against midgets and I cannot find any records of Jewish midgets besides crude "_____ walks into a bar" jokes, that Hitler obviously was supported by an elite junta of midget geniuses (they all are brooding types), who suitably convinced the German public to go to war against very large odds. Everybody knows that Hitler was short himself, around 5'7".
Ah, you might say. And yet, Hitler went to war agains the USSR, and thus lost. An evil midget genius would never do something so stupid as that. But there is an explanation for that, too. And the explanation is thus: Stalin, in the entirety of his regime, murdered over one hundred thousand midgets. But that was after the war, you exclaim! There is an obvious answer: if these midgets were powerful enough to use their dark midget arts to enchant an entire nation (Germany), who is to think that they could not foretell the future? These midgets are obviously dark sorcerers, of the highest order, and if you see a midget, you must do one of two things: please it, or destroy it. Remember. They hold the true power. And in that there can be no denying.
